Doing A 180

When you finally reach a goal, it makes all the hard work finally worth it.

The past week and a half, I have been on a more strict diet than usual. I’ve been trying to lose the last couple of pounds to my first goal weight before leaving for vacation tomorrow. These pounds were being awfully stubborn and not coming off easily. The diet was making hangry. I was getting tired of lettuce and spinach and boring foods. I always had a craving for something, not necessarily hungry, just craving. Basically, I was a being a bitch and unfortunately taking it out on my boyfriend.

But good thing he’s the best that’s ever happened to me and just let it slide!  He’s been on this diet too and while he is a silent complainer, I made it very known what I was craving and what I wanted. But he was firm with me and kept reminding me of the goal. The goal that I at one point said I didn’t want anymore, which wasn’t true.

Well, after the struggle that I don’t want to go through again, I reached my goal! Actually, I’m relatively well under my goal. Wednesday morning I had a pound until I reached 180lbs and this morning I was a 178.6lbs. Goodbye water weight!

Reaching my goal isn’t only exciting because I reached a goal by deadline I had set for myself, but it’s also a motivator. I was getting discouraged and just wanted to eat what I felt like. I was tired (mentally) of eating less and working out more. This was not a good mindset to walk into vacation with, where food will already be a little more unhealthy and working out a little hard.

But now I’m motivated to keep going and to be good the whole! My mood is completely different from earlier this week and it’s a good mindset to walk in to vacation with.

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Workout: 2.4 miles at 10.25/mi pace; 18 minutes on an elliptical; ab exercises

Something Good: I went above and beyond (under and below?) my goal weight!

Something Bad: There’s still one more day of work after this before vacation

What I’m Reading: Lord Foulgrin’s Letters by Randy Alcorn ( written as an updated version of The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis)

The War of the Scales

I woke up this morning tired. I went to bed late Sunday and Monday and hadn’t quite recovered with last night’s sleep. I popped in Insanity, Plyometric Cardio Circuit, and knew it would be rough. My legs were still tired and my stomach felt weird.

During my workout though I was reminded of all I ate yesterday and over the weekend while traveling for work. ‘You won’t burn enough calories half-assing it,’ I kept telling myself. ‘Your weight is going to be higher than you thought if you don’t finish this set hard.’

Well guess what guys. My weight was down from last week! 181.8 (previous 183.2). I am seeing numbers I only ever dreamed about seeing. Only 1.8lbs until I reach my goal for vacation. Only 10 more days.

But of course, when you get confident about your weight you think eating those chips and brownies pieces will be ok. Do you guys ever get over confident about a weight loss and binge? I hope I’m not the only one.

Tomorrow it will be another day of not half-assing it so I can see a good number on the scale. Right now, that’s what matters to me. My clothes are getting smaller, I know that, but now I need the scale to get lower too.

Advice about scales varies from forum to forum and from person to person. Some people say you shouldn’t pay attention to the scale, just how you look. Some people like the scale and the numbers. They’re able to keep check on their body and how certain foods and drinks affect it.

I think it depends on where a person is in their weight loss journey. When you’re overweight and obese, you’ll obviously notice the changes to your body and clothes but sometimes you need to see that number go down. Sometimes it’s a very strong motivator.

Right now the scale is one of my motivators, what is yours?

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Something good: Ate delicious and healthy vegetables for lunch

Something bad: Ate cookies and chips and lots of brownies pieces

Something I learned: I learned about the history and lore of werewolves. If you’re in to podcasts I would highly suggest Lore

Welcome Back

It’s been awhile. A long while. Almost 3 years worth of whiles since my last post here. I read through some of my old posts and I remember that time. 

It was right after graduated college. I was at my highest weight ever, 220. I joined Weight Watchers with my mom because my sister was getting married. I lost about 23lbs. I don’t think I ever got to 195. And then I stopped. Life got busy. I met a boy. I stopped going to Weight Watchers. I gained a little weight, but not as much as my highest. I worked out. I broke up with said boy. I gained weight. I worked out harder. I got back together with said boy and we started to become better us. 

Now I stand here at 185, the lowest I’ve been since college, and training for a half marathon. Every day I am amazed at what my body is capable of when I actually put my mind to it. 

So what am doing here? I’m going to be documenting my journey to a half marathon and a sub 160 weight. 

 

Let’s Be Real

I would say I’m back to my high school weight. But let’s be real, I look better than I ever did in high school.

Color Me Shocked

This past weekend was my college’s homecoming. Obviously I went down and raged and ate too much. Well at least I think I ate too much. Actually I just didn’t eat good foods.

But I think I’ve finally learned to listen to my body and stop eating when I get full.

I figured when I got home and finally weighed myself today, it would be up. Honestly I was praying for anything less than 5lbs. Wellll it was actually only like a pound! I was so happy! And honestly after today’s worked and tomorrow’s, it’ll probably be back down.

But I’m leaving again Wednesday to go to Oklahoma. I won’t be working out and I’ll be going out to eat. Hopefully I just stay smart. Weight Watchers has done wonders though. I’m finally not on a diet, I’m on a different lifestyle.

Long Time No See

Wow I didn’t realize its been that long since I updated. Sorry!! Here’s a few updates though.

As of Sunday, I have reached my goal of 10%!! I’m at 205.4 lbs. Only 5.4 lbs till I’m below 200. It’s so weird to think about. I just want to be there before my sister’s wedding. That’s all I want. 26 days. I can do this!

As promised, I posted new pics in The Changes page. I personally don’t think I look that different. Maybe a subtle change in my arms and upper thighs? I don’t know. To me, I’m still fat. I have more pounds to lose. More weight to shed. But I can definitely tell a difference from the first pics!

It’s on to 15% lost now, which is about 193 lbs. Exciting times are ahead guys, just wait.

In other news, I got my dress fitted for my sister’s wedding in November. I measured for the dress right before starting Weight Watchers. Tonight at my fitting it was practically falling off me. I’m pretty sure the seamstress will have to take about 4 inches off the dress. Oh and she said that I had a small waist for my body type. Whooooo!!! Which actually I kinda knew because according to my measurements I’m a perfect hourglass shape, proportion-wise.

It is getting harder to lose the weight. I’m not dropping 4 lbs every week. A few times I’ve gone up a pound but I always work hard to get it off the next week. I’m worried I’m gonna be hitting a plateau soon. That means I’ll be adding in Insanity (kill me now) to the workouts. I’m probably going to wait for sure until after the first wedding and that way I’ll have the Insanity body for the second wedding.

Well that’s enough of an update for now. Not a whole lot of other stuff to talk about. I’ll try to update more often! It definitely does help me, as do your comments! Many, many thanks!

Looking Up (Or Down)

Well after a terrible past weekend and an extremely rough beginning of the week, I finally reached my WW meeting and weigh-in and stepped on the scale and…..lost a pound!

I was shocked, honestly. I figured I’d at least break-even, maybe a couple ounces up. But I didn’t think I’d actually lose anything! And certainly not a pound!

Well I’m equally excited about this becaaauuuusseee I have officially lost 20lbs. Well technically 20.8 but same thing Haha.

Only 2lbs till my 10% goal. Only 6lbs till I’m below 200. Only 10lbs till my wedding (now moved to Thanksgiving) goal. Only 30lbs till my first ultimate goal.

I’m doing it guys, I’m really doing it. I’m making a Better Me.

On another note, today at the meeting we talked a little about self-image. About how we still see ourselves as fat even when we’re 20, 50, 125 pounds down.

And that’s so true.

A lot of people have made comments, whether to me or my family, about how I looked like I’ve lost weight and how I’m looking good. And I can’t stand these compliments. I actually hate when someone asks if I’ve lost weight. I hate taking their compliments, I hate when they comment on it.

I still think I’m fat. I still see the jiggle, the love-handles, the pooch. My hips are still too big, I haven’t lost a pants size, I haven’t dropped any sort of size.

To everyone else I’ve lost weight but to me I’m still fat. I’m not there yet. It kind of makes me scared to lose all the weight. I don’t want to see myself as fat all the time when I’m not.

It’s a burden that naturally skinny people will never face and for that, I am jealous of.

Well cheers to another good week. We can do it!

Repercussions

After my ‘Sweet, Sweet Victory’, I’m back up.

This was completely expected and planned for. I was happy to get below my lowest recorded weight, but I’m back up now and trying to work my ass off once more.

You see, this weekend was my sister’s bridal shower and bachelorette party. I spent Friday cooking and baking and taste testing, Saturday eating, eating, eating all that delicious food and drinking, and Sunday eating some of the leftovers.

Not entirely sure how much I gained cause the scales keep saying different things but obviously I gained. I didn’t even try to restrain myself.

But this week it’s back to the grind of eating right, working out, and continuing to motivate myself.

Oh and back to cooking healthy stuff.

Tonight I’m making Buffalo Wrappers, I’m super excited for it. I hope they turn out good. You use egg roll sheets and put chicken with hot sauce and slaw in it and wrap it. 3+ for each one. Now I just have to decide what to make as a side.

Time to get back into a routine of working out, being healthy, and cooking. Only 47 till the wedding and when I want to be -30lbs!

Sweet, Sweet Victory

Ok. Not quite victory yet. Or at least I haven’t reached the finish line yet, but I have reached a tough mile marker that I haven’t seen in a long time.

207! 207! 207! 207!

At my weigh-in yesterday I dropped 4lbs (or 3lbs since I gained 1 last week) and am below my last recorded lowest weight.

It’s kind of funny because I thought I would be really excited, which I am, but instead it just fed the flames of desire. I just want to work so much harder to get below 200 and then below 190 and then below 180. The fact that I Can Do This is setting in. It’s completely possible and when I finally cross that finish line it is going to be sweet, sweet victory.

In other news of mile-markers, I am 2lbs away from losing 10% of my starting weight and about 10lbs away from my goal for my sister’s wedding. I can soooo do this.

Sometimes, as I watch my weight go down down down, I kind of worry about what will happen when I’m at a healthy weight and I look good and I’m finally happy with my body. Will I ever be there or will I always find something wrong? Will my mind just keep thinking I look bad and will I keep killing myself at workouts? What if I can’t stop.

But that’s something to think about 30lbs from now. Only 30lbs more to get to my semi-ultimate goal of a 50lb weight loss.

I can’t believe I’m finally doing it.

Just Keep Pushing

This week is going soooo much better than last week, including the weekend. Every morning I weigh myself and I’m just shocked at what the numbers flash. It’s been going down every day and I’m honestly excited to go weigh in on Sunday (or Monday). This is a good week for me.

After gaining a pound on Tuesday from my weekend, I’m determined to get back down and then some. If my weight keeps going down I could be down close to 4lbs this week! I need this boost, for sure.

I’ve been making good dinners all week. I’ve been eating pretty good lunches. I’ve been doing good. And my meals have been good! I made enchiladas last night. Delicious. I made a pork loin. I made chicken parmesan. Home-made, I might add. And all healthy! Enchiladas were 4+ points each and I had 1 1/2 cause I full. Basically you just make your own sauce with tomato sauce and spices.

Pork loin is a 1+ point per ounce. The chicken parmesan, I think, was 6+ points. And obviously vegetables with each dinner and then some pasta or rice, but just a little.

This week is a good week. I just need to continue it!

Oh, and one of my best friends is also starting Weight Watchers with her mom. I hope she does good and sticks with it. She’s been known to just give up easily. It’s kinda funny though because I haven’t told her I’m doing Weight Watchers, she just told me yesterday. I don’t think I’m going to tell her. I haven’t told anyone really. It’s not like I’m embarrassed that I’m doing it, it’s just that it’s none of their business.

Well wish me luck on the rest of my weigh-in. I need this good payoff right now, for sure.